Over the weekend, the Nationalist Party’s spokesman for transport, Toni Bezzina, implied that the recent influx of foreigners was to blame for Malta’s current traffic woes.
Blaming foreigners for all our problems is a great idea, because it means us locals never have to take responsibility for anything. So here are six other things we can pin on non-Maltese people…
Racism
If foreigners didn’t exist and the entire world was populated with Maltese people, we wouldn’t have to hate people from other countries and ethnicities.
Mind you, if we did proliferate across the globe, we’d probably still end up hating the Arctic Maltese for having a different patron saint.
Corruption
Maltese people are very impressionable, so when we see world leaders get away with, and actually benefit from being corrupt, we can’t help but copy them. Stop giving us a bad example!
Buildings collapsing
Before migrant workers started arriving in Malta en masse, buildings rarely collapsed. But now, poor, innocent developers have to cut corners and build haphazardly just to keep up with the increased demand. Then who gets the blame when a building collapses? Poor, innocent developers. We hope you’re proud of yourselves, foreigners.
Climate change
Malta is tiny and our contribution to man-made climate change is negligible at best. When the rest of the world starts sorting its shit out, we might stop being a car-obsessed nation of polluting litterbugs.
Poor results in football
Why should the Maltese government invest more in football when bigger international teams could give us a break and let us win a game every now and then?
Maltese people
As a foreigner, have you ever found yourself being angry at Maltese people? Well guess what? We’re just a mishmash of Italians, North Africans, and whoever else decided to sow their wild oats on this God-forsaken rock. So yeah, it’s your fault that we even exist in the first place.
