Coronavirus panic is in full swing in Malta, with people emptying supermarkets of essentials like World War 3, a hurricane and a zombie apocalypse are all about to hit at once.
However, the truth is that – even if COVID-19 does make it Malta – the chances of the virus killing you are very remote, with a mortality rate of about two percent.
Having said that, here are six types of people who will hopefully be culled if the virus mutates into something more deadly.
Racists
Local racists are already using the Coronavirus as an argument to stop rescuing African migrants at sea, while many remotely Asian-looking people have been discriminated against and shunned over the past few weeks.
Luckily, the Coronavirus doesn’t recognise the superiority of the white race and, fingers crossed, will take out a few of these horrible people before a vaccine is discovered.
Anti-vaxxers
Speaking of vaccines – when a cure for the virus is eventually discovered, some knuckle-dragging fucknuggets will probably refuse to take it because of some 100-word article they read on a website called TruthExposed.com.
Maybe the children of anti-vaxxers would be better off without their ignorant parents’ influence. Just an idea.
Climate change deniers
“We should take the Coronavirus very seriously because elderly people like me are most at risk.”
Really, Doris? Five minutes ago you were ridiculing young people for pointing out that climate change is an existential threat. Get in the coffin.
Litterers
Not all litterers, obviously. We’re not complete psychopaths. Just the ones who don’t pick up their rubbish after a picnic or barbecue, and the ones that throw away old washing machines in valleys. Someone should sneeze into these people’s mouths.
Diehard Labourites and Nationalists
This country can’t move forward while these morons blindly support their parties no matter how corrupt and incompetent they are proven to be. Time to raise the average IQ by organising a couple of mass meetings with infected people in attendance.
BMW drivers
Need we say more?
