On Wednesday, Franco Debono appeared to show what happens when you drink eggnog made with expired eggs, by suggesting the next President of Malta should be Peppi Azzopardi (his first preference was Franco Debono but he knew Franco Debono would be too modest and unassuming to accept the role).
In turn, we downed a mug of mulled wine spiked with LSD and tried to imagine what would happen if Peppi did indeed become the 11th President of the Republic.
1. The George Cross on Malta’s flag would be replaced with a plastic fetus.
2. The first line of the national anthem would be changed to ‘Lil din l-art ħelwa, oweo, oweo’.
3. All prisoners would be released from prison no matter the severity of their crimes.
4. All events under the auspices of the presidency would be sponsored by Chemimart and TCTC.
5. Events would also be attended by a mob of imbeciles cheering and booing on command
6. The phone number of the President’s Palace would be changed to 21249200 and you can only call it if you have an interesting life.
7. Peppi would take over the role of Speaker of the House, and would only ever interrupt proceedings to say ‘Ikkonkludi’ and ‘fil-qosor’.
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