Maltese people have promised to stop telling surveys they prefer Chris Fearne over Robert Abela, as long the Prime Minister does something to control the spread of Covid-19.
Various polls have shown that the general public considers Health Minister Fearne to be more competent than Abela, especially in the wake of the pandemic.
But now the nation is coming together to massage the Prime Minister’s ego in a last-ditch attempt to make him act more decisively, as three-figure daily new Covid cases become the norm.
If reassuring Robert Abela that he’s more popular, more handsome and a better politician than Chris Fearne is what it takes for him to show some form of leadership and let Charmaine do what she has to do, then we’re going to have to grit our teeth and tell a few little white lies,” said Christopher Zammit, who is gathering signatures on a gushing letter to the Prime Minister, which he will then deliver to Castille.
The letter also mentions what a clever lawyer he was before becoming prime minister, how attractive Lydia Abela is, how charming their daughter is, and that his hometown of Qormi is the best town in Malta.
“That last one was particularly hard to write, because we all know Qormi is shit. But at this point, I think most people will do anything to convince Abela to stop making partisan and populist statements, and start keeping his fucking mask on when he’s speaking, like us mere mortals have to do,” Zammit said.
