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Maltese man converts from Charmania to Charmatheism

A man who was previously a Charmaniac – a devoted follower of Professor Charmaine Gauci – has now converted to Charmatheism.

44-year-old Alex Spiteri says he started having doubts about the existence of the Superintendent For Public Health a few weeks ago.

“I used to believe Charmaine was the Chosen One who would lead us safely through the pandemic. I watched all her updates and followed all her advice. But then the number of cases just kept increasing and she seemed to stand by and do nothing, even though she had special powers. So I became Charmagnostic for a while,” Spiteri told Bis-Serjetà.

Spiteri said the last straw was yesterday’s revelation that the risk assessment report for lifting the public health emergency back in June last year had been left mostly blank.

“If Charmaine existed and she was benevolent, why wouldn’t she stop Abela from harming the country? And if she were wise, she would take proactive decisions, not reactive ones. No – I’d rather believe she never existed and was some kind of mass hallucination we all created as a coping mechanism. There is no Charmaine – only Bobby.”

Spiteri added that his crisis of faith had also led him to question the nature of Health Minister Chris Fearne.

“Last year this guy said we had won the war against Covid, and we carried on treating him like some kind of god. What were we thinking?”

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