Dear Commissioner For Revenue,
I’m writing to you regarding the income tax self-assessment form I recently received in the post.
While I support the collection of taxes – a vital source of government revenue that goes towards essential public services like healthcare, education and infrastructure – I regret to inform you that I am unable to pay the full amount this year.
Just like most of the population, last year was a hard one for me. I’m sure you will have seen all the ‘Fuck 2020’ memes that were going around.
You see, despite being the most serious news organisation in Malta, Bis-Serjetà isn’t funded by a big media company, political party or wealthy sugar daddy. Our main source of income comes from our readers, in the form of subscriptions on Patreon and contributions on Buy Me A Coffee.
And as you can imagine, many of our readers were hit hard by the pandemic. Some lost their jobs, others lost their businesses, while others faced reduced hours and pay cuts. Understandably, this caused many to either cancel their payments, or refrain from subscribing, even though they wanted to.
So I was wondering if I could maybe get a tax break this year? I feel like if I have to pay the full amount, it’ll cripple me beyond repair.
Now, normally I wouldn’t make such a brazen request. After all, why should I get special treatment? But then I learned that Charles ‘ic-Ċaqnu’ Polidano had had his €40 million tax bill reduced to less than €10 million, and I figure, if you’re ready to generously forgive and forget such a huge amount of money, surely you won’t miss a few thousand euros from me.
Come to think of it, I think you should give everyone in Malta a tax break this year. After all, you wouldn’t want people to think there are different rules for the rich, right?
If it helps, I’ll even open a sprawling, illegal events venue on ODZ land, as apparently that helps to get into the government’s good books.
I hope you’ll seriously (pun intended) consider my request.
Best regards,
Karl Stennienibarra
God-Editor, Bis-Serjetà.
Ps. As I’m sure you’re an avid reader of Bis-Serjetà, maybe you’d like to contribute on Patreon? You’ll get exclusive content, early access to videos, vouchers from cool Maltese businesses (which, as mentioned should get a tax holiday this year), and free merch. We know you’re often busy answering the police’s questions about your relationship with Yorgen Fenech, but it only takes two minutes to sign up.
