Malta has agreed to send 10 gas delivery trucks to wartorn Ukraine, where they will be used as sonic weapons against the invading Russian army.
The agreement was made between Malta’s Foreign Minister Ian Borg and his Ukrainian counterpart Dmytro Kuleba during a phone call on Monday. While the deal states that the trucks will be used to deliver gas cylinders to civilians, Bis-Serjetà can reveal that the trucks will actually be used for military purposes.
Maltese gas delivery trucks are known for the extreme loudness of their horns, the sound of which can reach 150 decibels, a volume that well exceeds what is considered safe for humans. Over time, the eardrums of Maltese people have developed an extra layer of membrane to protect against the noise. If the wind is blowing from the south, the sound of a Maltese gas truck can be heard in Sicily.
Once they arrive in Ukraine, the 10 gas trucks will be fitted with armour and tank treads before being sent to the frontlines in Eastern Ukraine, where Russia has said it has started the next phase of its ‘special military operation’. Once there, it is hoped the trucks will turn the tide of battle by incapacitating Russian soldiers.
If a truck is surrounded and likely to be captured, the driver can trigger a fuse that causes the truck’s cylinders to explode. But this is considered to be a last resort and the trucks will rely on their aural firepower to ensure victory.
According to a source in the Foreign Ministery, Borg recommended to Kuleba that, for maximum effect, the trucks should be deployed early in the morning when Russian soldiers are still sleeping.
It is also believed the Ukrainian foreign minister asked Borg for a battalion of Maltese hunters, but Borg turned down the request, saying that the hunters were busy shooting at protected species.
Reacting to the news, Russia’s ambassador to Malta, Andrei Lopukhov, said his country could retaliate by sending the aircraft carrier Kutznetsov to attack the island, prompting Malta’s ambassador to Russia Pierre Clive Agius to respond: “Given the incompetence of your navy, we could probably sink it with a few fireworks.”
