It’s a well-known fact that dining out is getting prohibitively expensive. But who or what is to blame? We look at several possible causes.
Immigrants
We don’t know how exactly, but many people blame immigrants for all other problems facing the country, so it’s reasonable to assume they’re at fault for high restaurant prices too.
Eurovision
If the government didn’t waste so much money on Eurovision every year, it would be able to put that money towards subsidising your local pizza-pasta-burger joint so it can carry on acting like a three-star Michelin restaurant.
Venus being in retrograde
Most Maltese restaurants don’t have Michelin stars, but they’re still affected by actual stars (or in this case, planets).
Venus being in retrograde (not to be confused with Gatorade, which is a different phenomenon) is known to increase the price of food, or at least that’s what our hippie friend said when we asked her for her thoughts on the issue. But then again she gets her crystals cleaned at Stone Market so maybe don’t take her too seriously.
Wokeness
Our racist uncle told us about this one. Apparently people are still going to over-priced restaurants, instead of voting with their feet and taking their business elsewhere, because they’re afraid of offending the foreign chefs who make their food. The woke mind virus strikes again.
Hamas
According to Israeli intelligence, the Palestinian terrorist organisation frequently digs tunnels under Maltese restaurants to steal ingredients to make bombs. And as we all know, Israel never lies.
Taylor Swift
Billionaire pop star Taylor Swift actually owns every single restaurant in Malta, and has been hiking prices to fund her many trips on her private jet. So the next time you find yourself relating to Taytay’s lyrics, remember she’s to blame for your little plate of spaghetti aglio e olio costing 20 euros.
You, for being bad with money
Have you tried making better decisions when it comes to your personal finances? Maybe if you didn’t eat out so much, you could afford to eat out more.
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