Since Kurt Calleja burst onto the scene way back in 2012 with his ‘Trying to scrape chewing gum off my shoes’ dance at Eurovision, we haven’t heard much from the singer of…whatever the name of his song was.
Until now, that is. Kurt is back with a reggaeton-infused song called ‘Sweet Chili’, about, well, see for yourselves…
As you can see, the plot of the video is pretty complex, so we’ve written a scene-by-scene analysis to help you make sense of it…
The video opens in the fruit and veg aisle of a supermarket, where an attractive young woman is seductively sniffing chillis, as you do.
But who’s that store assistant in the background?
And who are they?
It’s Kurt Calleja! Things have clearly not gone well since Eurovision, and he’s now working in a supermarket. He’s also giving the eye to Chilli Sniffer. I wonder where this will lead…
That escalated quickly.
Really quickly.
I’m pretty sure that isn’t Kurt Calleja. Ah wait, he’s lurking in the background, stalking Chilli Sniffer.
Right, so it’s a food science show. Nothing sexier than food science. Except supermarkets, that is.
OK, they’re making chilli sauce, and definitely not meth.
More sexy chilli sniffer. Did they actually hook up or is this only in Kurt’s imagination?
Holy sh*t that is a lot of fish sauce. A little of that stuff goes a long way, Kurt.
Nope, definitely not meth.
Wow, chilli sniffing is contagious. Also why does his associate have a lollipop in his shirt pocket? Is he a dentist as well as a meth, er…chilli sauce producer?
And we’re back in the supermarket. Chilli Sniffer has graduated from raw chillies and has now discovered what appear to be Blue Dragon brand sauces. I guess we’ll find out in the credits. Meanwhile, Kurt continues to lurk. Starting to get a little creepy now, Kurt.
It looks like Chilli Sniffer agrees.
It’s very important to pour wisley and not foolshily.
Wait, did Kurt break into Chilli Sniffer’s house? You could’ve just said hello, Kurt!
Another shot from what is now clearly Kurt’s fantasy, in which he pours himself a wisley, sorry, whiskey.
As if the three tablespoons of fish sauce weren’t enough…
It looks like the sauce is ready, and Kurt hosts an after-hours sauce-tasting rave at the supermarket. “I hope my beloved Chilli Sniffer comes,” Kurt thinks.
Yes! But will she like his special sauce?
“All these bitches love my sauce…”
“…but I only have eyes for one.”
Right before the party, Kurt realised he’d got so caught up in creating the perfect hot sauce that he’d forgotten to buy any snacks to dip into the sauce. In a moment of genius, he thought, “U ijja, I’ll give them raw chillies to dip. That won’t be weird at all.”
But Sexy Chilli Sniffer does think it’s weird, so she uses her finger.
“This tastes…odd.”
“That’s right. Let the sauce flow through you.”
“I don’t feel so good.”
Kurt waits.
Overwhelmed by the potency of Kurt’s sauce, Chilli Sniffer passes out, and the video ends.
There’s Blue Dragon!
——–
So you’re probably wondering what you just watched. Because of the non-linear, Tarantino-esque plot and the dream sequences, it’s difficult to figure out what’s going on. This is our interpretation:
Failing to capitalise on his Eurovision fame, Kurt gets a job as a store assistant at Smart supermarket, while also making and taking meth on the side. He falls madly in love with a sexy chilli enthusiast and stalks her every time she goes to buy chillies. After struggling to get to get a handle on his meth-fuelled fantasies of her posing in lingerie, he convinces his associates to switch from meth production to chilli sauce, in an attempt to impress her.
After several failed experiments, the sauce is finally ready. To get Chilli Sniffer to taste it, he throws an after-hours sauce-tasting party at Smart, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to resist such an event.
Sure enough, she turns up, together with numerous other hot women who also love chilli sauce. He then feeds her a spiked batch of sauce, which causes her to pass out. He carries her unconscious body back to her own house, where he lays her down on a sofa and stares at her for three hours. He then comes to his senses and leaves through the window.
The next day, Chilli Sniffer wakes up with the vague feeling that she should probably start shopping at PAMA.
The end.
