The Catholic Church in Malta is partnering with Twistees to introduce cheese-flavoured Holy Communion wafers.
The collaboration is part of the Church’s strategy to try and reverse the trend of dwindling attendance at Sunday Mass.
“Over the past few weeks we’ve been conducting focus groups among priests from every parish to find out why they think people aren’t coming to church anymore,” Archbishop Charles Scicluna told Bis-Serjetà.
“We found that the majority of priests believe people aren’t turning away from the Church because its views are out of touch with the modern world, or because of all the scandals, but because the sacramental bread tastes a bit bland.”
“So we asked ourselves – what’s Malta’s favourite flavour of anything? Twistees, of course.”
The Curia then approached Darrell Lee Foods, the company that manufactures the iconic snack, with the idea of making cheesy holy hosts.
“We were delighted that the Church chose us to revolutionise a centuries-old religious rite. We hope that a sprinkling of our tasty cheese dust will make people rediscover their love for God,” a spokesperson for the company said.
The spokesperson also sought to reassure Maltese Catholics that, as part of the deal, it would only be rebranding a small part of the Liturgy of the Eucharist.
“Now priests are required to say, “Il-ġisem ta’ Twistee” when they present the consecrated cheesy wafer.”
The Maltese Church will be going ahead with the idea despite disapproval by the Vatican.
“They said it would be blasphemous, but I’ve done my research. There’s nothing in the decrees made by the Council of Trent that says the body of Christ didn’t in fact taste of cheese,” Mgr Cremona said.
“And besides, I’m sure the Lord would have used Twistees at the Last Supper if they’d been available at the time. I mean what sort of weirdo would choose to eat plain bread?” he added.
The Twistees wafers will be launched at a special promotional mass at St John’s Co-Cathedral in Valletta, before being rolled out at selected churches nationwide.
The Church is also exploring the possibility of replacing Communion wine with Kinnie.
“Hopefully in time for Sober October,” the Archbishop said.
