No Maltese person has ever committed a crime, according to a new study.
The study was carried out by local racist Clint Zahra, who last week enrolled at the American University of Malta as a mature student.
“I didn’t use the traditional scientific method because that’s what libtards use. Instead I opted for the standard right-wing method of having a thought, expressing that thought very loudly and then insisting it’s true because I said so,” Zahra told Bis-Serjetà.
“With that in mind, my study has proven beyond reasonable doubt that, in the entire history of this country, no Maltese person has ever committed theft, murder, rape, grievous bodily harm, fraud or any other crime.”
Zahra added that his study showed that all crimes in Malta were committed by foreigners, with a particularly strong correlation being observed between doing a crime and having dark skin.
“Take today, for example. This morning two black guys were filmed fighting in Paceville, and later two other black guys were caught stealing a PS4 in Valletta. According to the research I did in my own brain, no Maltese person has ever been involved in a fight in Paceville or stolen anything.
“This is why they should all leave – so we can go back to the peaceful, crime-free utopia we used to be before they started arriving.”
At the time of writing, Zahra had unenrolled himself from the University after realising that all his classmates were foreign.
“I thought all the Arabs were Maltese. They had the same skin colour as me and even sounded similar. They’re getting clever,” he said.
