All racists in Malta will be deported to the Sahara Desert tomorrow, the government announced this morning.
As part of the plans, which were made public by Home Affairs Minister Michael Farrugia, all immigrants will be released from detention and given Maltese citizenship, as well as the departing racists’ property.
“The other day I read a horrible comment saying all black people should be sent back to Africa, and I thought, “If you like Africa so much why don’t you move there yourself?” And I’d rather live next to a nice migrant than a racist Maltese wanker,” Farrugia said.
“Then I remembered I’m the Home Affairs Minister and I could totally make that happen.”
Adding that he didn’t want to inflict Maltese racists on population centres in Africa, the Minister announced they will instead be airdropped en masse into the remotest parts of the Sahara, with no food or water.
Aside from out-and-out racists, other people who are eligible to be deported include:
- Those who click the ‘Haha’ reaction on articles about migrants drowning.
- Those who wish death or physical harm on migrants.
- Anyone who compares migrants to animals
- Anyone who writes ‘Go back to your country’.
- Anyone who voted for Norman Lowell (“Even as a joke,” the minister emphasised).
“If you’re one of these people, you’ve been on a list for a while. So pack your shit and report to the airport in 24 hours, or we’ll come kick your door down,” Farrugia said.
