Everything is totally fine in Malta right now, ONE News have reported this afternoon.
“Welcome to ONE News. Here are the latest stories: It’s a beautiful November day and everything is great,” the Labour Party channel’s news anchor, Deborah Cachia, told viewers.
“The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and there isn’t a hint of trouble on the horizon. Seriously, I can’t believe it’s the tail-end of November and it would still be a good time to go out on a yacht. I mean, not a yacht. Ignore that last bit.”
Cachia then broke into a rendition of ‘Three Little Birds’ by Bob Marley, before repeating the words ‘growth’, ‘wealth’ and ‘L-aqwa fl-Ewropa’ 50 times.
“Are you guys watching The Mandalorian? It’s so good. The strong Western motifs and gritty aesthetic feel like a return to the original Star Wars, you know? And, OMG, baby Yoda is so cute!” she added.
“I feel so grateful that I can discuss a TV show with you all because there are absolutely no scandals to report on right now in this blissful paradise we call home,” she concluded.
