The police force, ambulance service, and fire brigade have conducted a joint training exercise to prepare for the potential opening of a Primark store in Malta.
While there is no imminent threat of the budget clothing store coming to Malta, the authorities believe that such an incident would provoke the worst disaster in the country since World War II.
As part of the drill, a warehouse in Bulebel was transformed into a Primark store, complete with signage and real Primark clothes.
100 mostly female volunteers wearing protective goggles and padded clothing were encouraged to act as if it was the opening day of the store.
After standing in line for three hours this morning, the pretend-shoppers were let in, whereupon they rushed frantically to different sections of the store in search of the best deals. They had been encouraged to engage into mock fights with each other, which would set off the fake-blood packs in their clothes.
The emergency services arrived shortly after. Police cordoned off the building, while the force’s Special Intervention Unit deliberated on how best to storm the building. Ambulances and fire engines were on stand-by, while a helicopter flew overhead.
“This is all completely fake of course, but there will come a day when Primark opens in Malta, and when that day arrives, we must be prepared,” Civil Protect Department Chief Emanuel Psaila told Bis-Serjeta.
“Specifically, we need to be prepared for mass casualties caused by stampedes, people being buried alive under piles of discarded clothes, fights over cheap jumpsuits, women choking each other with costume jewellery, as well as fires started by shoppers wishing to create enough smoke to hide the bargains they’ve found from competing shoppers,” he added.
“In the event of such an incident, we would work closely with the London Metropolitan Police, who have vast experience dealing with Maltese people who have gone feral in the Primark on Oxford Street,” said the Malta Police Force’s media coordinator, Brandon Pisani.
