The Islamic Republic of Iran has vowed to avenge the elimination of Karl Schembri from X Factor Malta.
Despite delivering a rousing rendition of Nessun Dorma, Karl was eliminated after receiving the least amount of votes from the public in the third Live Show last night.
This angered the Iranian regime, whose leaders watch X Factor Malta religiously.
“Karl was our favourite contestant, and by far the best on the show,” said Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the Supreme Leader of Iran.
“We loved his falsetto voice, his unusual song choices and his cocky attitude. Frankly, it’s a gross injustice that he’s out, and we promise that harsh revenge awaits the criminals who allowed this to happen,” he added.
Iran said it suspected the US and Israel had a hand in the elimination.
“We’re pretty sure there were, as you say in Maltese, fottimenti. Our agents in Malta tried voting for Karl several times, but kept getting a message back saying there had been an error. Mossad must have hacked the system. Those devils will do anything to make sure F.A.I.T.H. win,” Khamenei insisted.
While refusing to elaborate on what exact form the retaliation would take, Iran did not rule out firing missiles at Ben Camille, kidnapping Alexandra Alden, or stealing Ray Mercieca’s hat, while reiterating its support for the “martyred” singer.
“Inshallah it won’t just be limited to an angry comment on Facebook.”
By this morning, a large crowd of pro-Schembri supporters had already gathered in the streets of Tehran, with thousands more expected join the protests later today.
“Karl is welcome in Iran any time. Unlike the stupid Maltese public, we recognise talent when we see it,” one distraught Karl Schembri fan said.
