These are dark days for the Nationalist Party. Chaos reigns supreme at Dar Ċentrali, as Delia The Usurper refuses to loosen his stranglehold on the party. It seems that no one is powerful enough to wrest control of the Maduma from his hands by force.
Until now, that is. A small but plucky band of heroes by the name of The Blue 17 has come forth to challenge Delia and restore the PN to its former glorious state as a debt-ridden party with an outdated name, emblem and ideology.
But who are these champions of justice? Here we take a look at what some of the heroes bring to the table.
Simon Busuttil: Hypnosis
Simon Busuttil, also known as The Human Snore, can put anyone to sleep simply by looking at them.
Claudette Buttigieg: Seduction
She’ll make you believe that, deep in your heart, there’s desire to love.
Stephen Spiteri: The power to make you ill
Or at least give you a doctor’s note to say you’re ill.
Roberta Metsola – Teleportation
Hey, it’s Robert Metsola. She’d be a great candidate for a new leade…oh wait she’s vanished. Where did she go?
There she is, back in Brussels earning a shitload of money while far away from the clusterfuck-omnishambles-dumpster fire.
Chris Said: Sheep whisperer
The Gozitan MP can summon an army of fluffy friends to help him vanquish his foes.
Kevin Cutajar – Enhanced senses
Daredevil isn’t the only blind lawyer with a crime-fighting alter ego.
Mario de Marco & Beppe Fenech Adami: Money
Like Batman, De Marco and Fenech Adami don’t have any superpowers. But like The Dark Knight, they too can rely on their family name and wealth to see him through.
David Casa: Super speed
When evil rears its ugly head, the MEP activates his lightning-quick reflexes. But first he needs to visit the bathroom
Toni Bezzina: super strength
TONI SMASH
Jason Azzopardi: The Prick
Finally, we come to the leader of the 17 Blue Heroes: The Prick.
Many superheroes are too humble to call themselves such, allowing other people to bestow that accolade on them. But not the Prick. He knows he’s a superhero, and he wants you to know it too.
The Prick has multiple superpowers. His telepathy allows him to know that his car is being followed, that people want to silence him, and where black smoke is coming from. His massive intellect, which is housed inside his light-bulb-like head, means he can quote Dylan Thomas and Dante Alighieri at the drop of a hat. He is also adept at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
But above all, he is a massive prick, the only prick big enough to rival his arch nemesis, Delia The Usurper.
