Infrastructure Minister Ian Borg has tested positive for being a cunt.
Borg has been showing symptoms of being a cunt since he became mayor of Dingli in 2005, but only decided to get tested in recent days.
“We can confirm that Ian Borg has received a positive diagnosis for being a cunt,” a spokesperson for Mater Dei Hospital said.
“He has now been isolated so his cuntiness doesn’t spread to any further.”
Being a cunt is highly contagious. Symptoms include having the compulsion to widen roads, being in the pockets of big businessmen, not taking responsibility for your failures, dismissing all critics as being bitter and jealous, and writing the hashtag ‘#GettingThingsDone’.
Asked if a vaccine had been developed, the spokesperson replied:
“As Bronn says in Game Of Thrones, there’s no cure for being a cunt.”
