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You can’t catch Covid-19 if you’re roasted alive, Malta Public Transport tells bus users

Karl Stennienibarra

Malta Public Transport has told bus users they can’t catch Covid-19 if they’re roasted alive, after announcing in Monday that air conditioners on buses will not be turned on this summer.

The measure is aimed at preventing the spread of the coronavirus through the buses’ air-conditioning systems.

“A lot of people are saying the buses will be unbearably hot during the peak summer months because you can’t open the windows. But if you’ve been roasted to death after being marinated in your own sweat, and also a bit from the person sat next to you, it’s highly unlikely you’ll catch Covid-19,” an MPT spokesperson told Bis-Serjetà today.

The spokesperson cited a recent study conducted by China on Uighur Muslims detained in so-called re-education camps. The study showed that Covid-19 was not prevalent among those whose bodies were baked at temperatures exceeding 200 degrees Celsius, which also happens to be the average temperature of an uncooled bus in Malta in summer.

“Being roasted alive is an underrated experience that has several advantages. You get to feel a totally new sensation, and once you’ve been turned to ashes, you get to mingle with loads of other people. And of course, total immunity to Covid-19.”

The spokesperson added that, if commuters did not want to be roasted alive, they could use an old-fashioned hand fan.

“Of course, to make any difference in such high temperatures, it would need to be about three metres wide.”

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