A man from Mġarr is loudly advertising the fact he has a micro-penis by revving his expensive car’s engine in the village square.
Josmic Vella, 23, who is from Mġarr, drove to the square in his Mercedes C Class Coupe this evening, before revving his engine and repeatedly circling the church parvis at high speed.
Scientists believe this behavior is an elaborate ritual performed by drivers of such vehicles to let people know they are not at all well endowed.
“Why any man would want to advertise the fact they have a penis the size of a Rice Krispie is still a mystery to science. But the research definitively shows that the larger the car, the more likely the driver’s manhood resembles a single piece of macaroni,” said Professor Imona Jetski from the American University of Malta.
“If the driver is also playing terrible music at ear-drum-perforating levels, this is usually a sign that the penis actually goes inwards rather than outwards, probably out of embarrassment that its owner is such a, well, knobhead,” she added.
“On the other hand, men who drive small cars like the Toyota IQ are hung like horses. It’s surprising they can fit their massive tree-trunk dicks inside the car, to be honest.”
