Prickly pears – arguably Malta’s most iconic fruit – are actually shit, a study has shown.
The study was carried out by Professor Imona Jetski and her team of researchers at the American University of Malta.
“We conducted an in-depth analysis of the prickly pear fruit, and concluded that it is, to use a scientific term, shit,” Prof Jetski told Bis-Serjetà.
Explaining the findings, the professor gave a number of reasons as to why prickly pears are shit.
“First and foremost they’re full of hard seeds that are difficult to remove, chew, and digest. This wouldn’t be a problem if the pay-off was a delicious treat, like pomegranates. But the flesh of the fruit is watery and barely tastes of anything, so the epic constipation isn’t worth it.
“This shittiness is further demonstrated by the fact that, towards the end of August, prickly pears can be found hanging all over the place in rural Malta, and yet no one bothers to pick them. Probably because you risk impaling your fingers if you try.”
Prof Jetski added that the only uses for the fruit that the researchers found were as pig food and to make overpriced liquor to sell to tourists.
“Apparently you can make jam out of them as well, but honestly who has the time?” she concluded.
