Karl Stennienibarra
Jason Azzopardi went straight to confession earlier today after finding out he had accidentally smelled cocaine, Bis-Serjetà can reveal.
The Nationalist MP had received a sachet of mysterious white powder at the party’s Dar Ċentrali headquarters in Pietà last Friday. After smelling the powder, he passed it on to the police, who today confirmed it was cocaine.
“When the police told me the news this afternoon, I panicked. I’ve never done any kind of drugs before, let alone cocaine, which is the Devil’s talcum powder,” Azzopardi said.
“Even though I only gave the cocaine a quick sniff and didn’t snort any, some sinful particles definitely entered my nose.
I immediately phoned Simon Busuttil for advice. He told me, “Iiiiii x’għarukaża Jason madoffi, you have to go confess or you’ll go to Hell like Mintoff!””
Azzopardi said he drove to Paola church to confess to parish priest Fr Mark Zammit (pictured above), making several wrong turns to ensure no one was following him.
“This is already his third confession this week. Yesterday he came in and told me he’d had impure thoughts after seeing a woman’s bare ankles,” Fr Zammit told Bis-Serjetà.
“Seriously the guy needs to chill. As penitence I suggested 10 Hail Mary’s and a fat spliff.”
