Malta’s national football team coach has attempted to put an optimistic spin on his side’s 7-0 massacre by Spain’s B team yesterday, by saying that at least no one died.
“It could have gone a lot worse,” Ray ‘Zazu’ Farrugia told reporters after the penultimate European Championship qualifier in Cadiz.
“We need to focus on the positives. Yes, we’re an embarrassing shambles in every way, shape and form, and would have struggled against Spain’s child mascots let alone their reserves. But none of the players were struck by lightning, or crushed by falling masonry, or swallowed by a sink hole that suddenly opened up in the middle of the pitch.
“Mind you, we never got out of our own half against Spain so the latter wouldn’t have been an issue anyway,” Farrugia said.
Asked about what the Maltese team could do to improve its performances ahead of Monday’s home game against Norway, Farrugia replied:
“We need our run of good luck to continue, and avoid being eaten by grizzly bears, being exposed to fatal levels of radiation, and getting killed in a gunfight with a Mexican drug cartel.
“Looking further into the future, it would also help if we were put in a group with San Marino, Lichtenstein, Gibraltar, Andorra, Moldova, and a newly independent Filfla. Then maybe we’ll come second last instead of dead last.”
