Bis-Serjetà – Malta’s leading news organisation – has asked its readers to refrain from dying from the Covid-19 coronavirus, so as not to adversely affect its booming website traffic.
“We’re going through a purple patch right now and we’d hate for our stats to be dented by people dying,” said Bis-Serjetà’s god-editor, Karl Stennienibarra, after the first three cases of the virus in Malta were confirmed yesterday.
“So please – wash your hands regularly, and if you have symptoms of the virus, please avoid coming into close contact with anyone who’s a fan of Bis-Serjetà.”
Stennienibarra added that while the majority of Bis-Serjetà’s readers were in the 25-34 bracket, a substantial number of site visits came from the 65+ cohort, the age group most at risk from Covid-19.
“People from the latter group also tend to boost the visibility of our Facebook posts with comments such as ‘Is this real???’, ‘Fake news!’ and ‘This is in bad taste. You should delete it’. So while these comments that question our integrity are very hurtful, we still don’t want the people making them to drop dead.”
Stennienibarra also asked Health Minister Chris Fearne to make sure that, should people be admitted to hospital and placed under quarantine, they were given internet access so they could carry on enjoying their daily dose of serious news.
“Ideally with all other websites blocked,” he suggested.
“Incidentally, if you run a small business and want to advertise your wares to our as-yet-not-dead readers, send an email to bisserjeta@gmail.com, or get in touch through Facebook,” Stennienibarra said.
