Bis-Serjetà has claimed a final and decisive victory over The Times of Malta, after the latter’s website went offline earlier today.
Despite being a pretender to the title of Malta’s most serious news website, The Times’s homepage has been re-directing to an error message since Wednesday afternoon.
“I am glad that Allied Newspapers has finally seen sense and instructed the usurper Herman Grech to pull the plug on the Times website once and for all. It was a long, bloody and futile war they never had a chance of winning, although I cannot fault their valiant effort to beat us by never publishing any fun content,” Bis-Serjetà editor-in-chief told Bis-Serjetà, adding this was an even sweeter achievement than scaring away Saviour Balzan.
Stennienibarra suggested he would be merciful to his vanquished foes.
“Because I am a magnanimous god-editor, I will refrain from spreading salt onto their printing presses and will allow them to continue providing newspapers to the nation’s pensioners,” he said, adding that the Times’s younger online readers should “come to papa.”
Stennienibarra also urged The Times’s sponsors and advertisers to switch to Bis-Serjetà, where they would receive attractive rates.
“The offer also applies to the handful of people who used to donate to The Times through their ‘Support Us’ button. You can donate to us instead on Patreon and frankly get more value for money.
At the time of writing, the entire Times newsroom had joined Lovin Malta, raising the average age of its journalists to 15.
Pay tribute to the glorious victors
