Labour leadership contender Chris Fearne has promised to fire Neville Gafà into the sun if he is elected Labour leader next month.
Fearne had sacked Gafà from his job at the Ministry of Health last year. However, Gafà carried on working for the government as an aide at the Office of the Prime Minister.
“If elected, I promise not just to fire that sleazy shitbag once more, but to place him in a space capsule and launch him directly into the sun so I never have to deal with him again,” Fearne said.
“He can bitch about hatred and dirty campaigns all he wants. I’ve already commissioned NASA to design the capsule. It will be brown and turd-shaped, and on the inside there will be enough room for him to put all his crappy polo shirts and framed pictures of him, Keith and Joseph.
Responding to the news, Gafà said:
“My boo thang would never let me be vaporised by the sun. He’s got my back. In fact he often massages it when I visit him in Mellieha, while whispering into my ear that all the haters will pay.”
