Health Minister Chris Fearne is redirecting all of Malta’s healthcare resources towards hairdressing, after several women complained about the government’s decision to close salons due to Covid-19.
Hairdressing salons were one of the types of business that were forced to close indefinitely as from yesterday.
“This morning, I ordered all of Malta’s healthcare resources – human, infrastructural and logistical – to be redirected towards the provision of haircare services during this difficult time,” Fearne said during this afternoon’s daily media briefing.
“We may have a global pandemic on our hands, but what’s the point of saving lives if Maltese women can’t look their best?”
As part of the new measures, Mater Dei Hospital will be renamed to Mater Dei Hair & Beauty Salon. All doctors have been retrained as hairstylists, with surgeons charged with performing the most advanced cuts.
Nurses will make coffee and provide gossip while women are undergoing styling.
“Furthermore, all current patients at Mater Dei – whether they are suffering from Covid-19 or other medical conditions – will be evicted so their beds can be replaced with over 1,000 new hairdressing stations.
Fearne then handed the briefing over to Professor Xagħarmane Gauci, the Superintendent for Public Hair.
“Yesterday, before the new measures came into effect, we had 10 confirmed cases of split ends, while another three patients reported frizziness that required emergency blow-drying. A further two patients were dyed.
“That’s D-Y-E-D, to be absolutely clear,” Prof Gauci said.
Asked about the government’s controversial partnership with the now-renamed Steward Haircare, the minister said he saw no problem with the private company’s representatives pressuring women into buying their new line of shampoos and conditioners while they were undergoing treatment.
Fearne was also pressed on why emergency haircare was not being made available to men.
“Because we don’t give a shit,” he replied, while dismissing the claim he didn’t care because he himself was bald as PN spin.
Women who believe they may be having a bad hair day are advised to call the 111 helpline to book an appointment.
