The climate has urged Malta to declare a PN emergency to prevent the country from becoming a de facto one-party state.
The climate made the declaration today after the Nationalist Party called on the government to declare a climate emergency.
“Never mind me. I’ve got a lot of smart people trying to help me out. What we need to do is sort the PN out so Malta doesn’t end up with a Labour government for the next 100 years,” the climate said.
The climate hastened to add that, as the system that governed the weather patterns of the entire planet, it didn’t particularly care whether Labour or PN was in charge of Malta.
“But it’s kind of important to have a functioning opposition, you guys.”
When pressed as to what solutions it was suggesting for the PN to become electable again, the climate said:
“I dunno. I mean maybe they could change leader, but the new one will probably be just as inept as Adrian Delia. Or maybe they could sit down and carve out a new, consistent direction that isn’t out of touch with 21st century Malta, but most of them are old religious conservatives who hate change. Or some of their members could split and form a new party, but then that would guarantee a Labour majority in future elections.
“Jesus, PN is more fucked than I am, isn’t it?” it said.
