The government is studying the possibility of burying Buġibba under a massive pile of rubble as a way of dealing with the construction waste crisis.
Speaking during a meeting with members of the Malta Developers Association (MDA), Prime Minister Joseph Muscat said dumping waste at sea was not the government’s preferred option.
“Ideally we would dispose of all the waste on land. The problem is that we wouldn’t want to put it in a place that’s beautiful, historic or in any way important.
“Luckily, Buġibba is none of those things.”
Muscat suggested that the entire seaside town could be covered in rubble and a new, exclusive hill-top settlement built on top of it.
Asked how the government would go about executing the plans if they were approved by the Planning Authority, Muscat said:
“For a start, we could use Brexit as an excuse to evict Buġibba’s substantial population of fat old English expats. That would in turn render all of its shitty pubs useless. Then we could just go ahead and bring in the trucks and pretend it never existed.
“The only downside is that clubs in Paceville would need to find somewhere else to get their violent bouncers from.”
MDA chairman Sandro Chetcuti agreed with Muscat’s idea.
“People are always saying we turned Buġibba into a shit hole with all our ugly developments, so this would basically be a do-over. And you can definitely trust us to do it right this time,” he said.
Other solutions put forward during the meeting included using the waste to build a bridge to the moon, using it as ammunition against Tunisian fishermen, and pretending it doesn’t exist.
