Malta’s nannas have started a coordinated effort to ensure that the COVID-19 Coronavirus does not spread in Malta – by vigorously scrubbing the bit of pavement right outside their doorsteps with bleach and disinfectant.
The sight of a Maltese nanna making sure the stretch of pavement in front of her house was spotless used to be a common one in Malta’s towns and villages, but the practice has somewhat died out in recent years.
However, in the wake of the Coronavirus, nannas all across the country mobilised early this morning and began throwing buckets of water onto pavements and scrubbing them, in an attempt to make the country virus-proof.
As a result, people on their way to work were met with an almost overwhelming smell of bleach and Dettol.
“Us old folks are more at risk from Coronavirus than anyone, so we’re making sure it can’t gain a foothold here. The Romans had scorched earth tactics, and we have bleached pavement tactics. The Chinese have got nothing on us,” said 83-year-old Salvina Grech from Rabat.
“This bit of pavement is now so clean that you could eat your stockpiled tins of corned beef right off of it,” said a visibly tired 76-year-old Ċetta Spiteri from Fgura.
The operation was not without its hiccups. In Għargħur, two neighbouring nannas got into a dispute over where one’s bit of pavement ended, and the other’s began.
“An agreement was reached whereby a one-metre-wide corridor of ‘no nan’s land’ was established between the two doorsteps. This area will be cleaned by a neutral bleach-keeping force,” said United Nannas (UN) president Karmena Borg, who mediated the dispute.
Meanwhile, just like in the old days, the foamy water was left to run unchecked down entire streets. Reports indicate that the water has already reached several valleys, where it has killed all flora and fauna in its path.
