The government has announced it is working on plans to mismanage Covid-19 in the exact same way it did last time around.
Since Prime Minister Robert Abela announced strict new measures to tackle the spread of the virus last month, the number of new daily cases has substantially dereased. But the government insists it is intent on once again screwing things up.
“The health authorities would like to reassure the public that we plan on making the same mistakes as last year to ensure that the common good is overlooked in favour of big-business interests,” a spokesperson for the Health Ministry told Bis-Serjetà, adding that everyone in government would have their own job to do.
“Robert Abela and Chris Fearne will make irresponsible statements that prematurely declare victory. Prof. Charmaine Gauci will be tasked with being overruled. And Clayton Bartolo will take on Julia Farrugia Portelli’s role of going on British TV and prattling on about mechanisms. We just need to find someone to hand out the roly-polies, since Silvio isn’t here anymore.”
While the precise plans have not yet been published, it is believed they include a return to lax enforcement, letting tourists in willy-nilly, and several U-turns.
“Let’s all work together to pretend like Covid-19 has gone away,” the spokesperson concluded.
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