The Covid-19 virus will be spending the Christmas holidays at a farmhouse in Gozo, it announced today.
The coronavirus, which has spent the past year ravaging the entire world, said it was taking a well-deserved break.
“Killing millions of people and crashing the global economy is hard work. I’ve barely been able to catch my breath, if you’ll pardon the pun. So I think I deserve a few days of relaxation,” Covid-19 told Bis-Serjetà.
The virus said it would be sharing the farmhouse in Qala with a group of six Maltese friends.
“I tried to find a whole property but everywhere’s fully booked. It doesn’t matter though – I’m a very outgoing virus and love meeting new people. I can’t wait to get to know these guys.
“And if they’re up for it, we could even go to a restaurant together. I’m so glad they stayed open. I know this sounds melodramatic, but if the Maltese government had forced everywhere to close, I think I would’ve died.”
The virus also dismissed the possibility of a vaccine arriving soon.
“Even if those bastards at AstraZeneca manage to find a vaccine, good luck getting countries to coordinate with each other. And my good friends the conspiracy theorists have got my back. After this Gozo stay, I’ll be back and better than ever.”
