A man’ has died this evening after his head exploded while he was trying to make sense of the latest developments in the Daphne Caruana Galizia murder case.
Robert Farrugia, 28, from Qrendi, was following The Times of Malta’s live blog from today’s court sitting – which at the time of writing is still ongoing after eight hours – when the incident happened.
“Wait, so who are they? What nicknames do they have? And what’s their connection to them? And isn’t he a police officer, the former most important police officer, even? Why is he giving him information? And why hasn’t he been arrested? Why hasn’t literally everyone been arrested? My head hurts,” Farrugia said, shortly before his skull violently burst open, covering his workplace and several colleagues with chunks of his exhausted brain.
A magisterial inquiry has been opened.
“I think the longer the case goes on, the more common this sort of cranial combustion will start to become,” forensic pathologist Dr George Deguara told Bis-Serjetà.
“The human brain is not designed to process such high levels of criminality intertwined with the state and police force. All this corruption and intrigue is enough to make even the strongest of minds blow sky high. And to think we probably haven’t even heard the half of it yet,” he said.
Asked for his advice on how to avoid live-blog-induced brain explosion, Dr Deguara said:
“The best thing you can do is convince yourself you’re living in an unrealistic, over-the-top Netflix drama about the mafia that has far too many characters and a convoluted plot that will hopefully end at some point.
“Either that or get a lobotomy, become a staunch Labourite, and ask “Where is the laptop?” over and over again,” he suggested.
