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Dewfresh introduces ‘game-changing’ sausages that contain actual meat

Karl Stennienibarra

Dewfresh has introduced a new line of sausages that contain meat.

The company recently updated the packaging of the Maltese barbecue mainstay with a more modern design, and confirmed that the change is more than just cosmetic.

“We’re delighted to announce that our trademark pork-and-beef sausages now contain up to 1% pork and/or beef/other. The remaining 99% is a top secret blend of synthetic materials and You Don’t Wanna Know,” a spokesperson for Dewfresh told Bis-Serjetà.

“And while our new game-changing sausages are slightly less pink, they still glow in the dark, and now only one out of every eight carries the risk of radiation sickness.”

Dewfresh also sought to anticipate criticism by animal rights campaigners.

“It’s true that our sausages are no longer vegan friendly. But on the other hand, at least our logo is no longer a smiling pig wearing a butcher’s uniform. That was a bit sick, in hindsight.”

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