Doctors at Mater Dei Hospital are struggling to remove Jason Micallef’s tongue from deep inside Joseph Muscat’s anus.
Micallef, who is the chairman of the Valletta Cultural Agency, inserted his tongue into the outgoing prime minister’s anus yesterday, right after criticising singer/songwriter and X-Factor judge Alexandra Alden for offering to perform at next Sunday’s anti corruption concert.
He is known to regularly insert his tongue into the anal cavity of Muscat, who had to cancel his trip to London because Micallef could not be extricated on this particular occasion.
“It’s jammed in there real good, right up to the top of the rectum. The man has a long tongue,” said Dr Simon Mercieca from Mater Dei’s proctology department.
“It doesn’t help that Mr Micallef is refusing to cooperate, possibly because this is the last time he’ll taste Muscat’s insides. When we try to remove him, he grips the Prime Minister’s buttocks even harder and wriggles his tongue in deeper and deeper. We’re concerned he might get to the colon.”
Despite the danger to Muscat’s colon, Dr Mercieca was more positive about Micallef’s recovery.
“Normally, the oxygen deprivation caused by such prolonged and rigorous analingus would lead to a drastic decrease in brain function. Luckily, Mr Micallef had none to begin with.”
Meanwhile, ONE News presenter Karl Stagno Navarra (no relation) has called for the swift removal of Micallef’s tongue.
“It’s my turn now. You’ve been in there long enough you flower-loving freak,” Stagno Navarra said while putting on a bib.
