The Chairman of the Gozo Channel has warned people not to travel by ferry when the moon is full.
Chairman Joe Cordina said that an issue that had previously only affected one vessel was now affecting all four.
“A while ago we found out that the crew of the Nikolaos are cursed. More specifically, they are werewolves. This explains their rude, aggressive behaviour, and why passengers kept going missing on night crossings at certain times of the month. This is also why we try to use the Greek ship as seldom as possible,” Dimech told Bis-Serjetà.
“But last week one of the crew, Stavros Lukanthropos, escaped from the cage where we’ve been keeping them all while the Nikolaos is in for repairs. He then made his way to Cirkewwa and attacked the crew of the other vessels, killing some and biting others,” he added.
This means that the Nikolaos, Malita, Ta’ Pinu and Gaudos are now all crewed by werewolves.
“For this reason, we strongly advise people not to use the ferries on the night of a full moon. As per the terms and conditions of our contract with the government, Gozo Channel Company Ltd cannot be held liable for death by werewolf, or indeed by vampires from the Ministry of Gozo or the Kraken that lurks in the channel, Dimech insisted.
“If you really must cross, we strongly advise that you bring some silver bullets, as well as a plate of moussaka with which to distract the werewolves while you load your revolver. Aside from being half-man, half-wolf, all Gozo Channel crew members are now partial to Greek food,” he explained.
“Aside from full-moon nights, you can cross as normal on all the other days of the month, as long you don’t mind every single crew member now being hostile, smelling of wet dog and slightly Greek. And of course Sundays between 5 pm and 8 pm are also out. But that’s due to incompetence and bad planning and not feral mythological beasts.”
