Finance Minister Edward Scicluna has made off with over €100 million worth of budget funds, after hearing that Robert Abela intended to replace him.
According to news reports, the Prime Minister will soon reshuffle his cabinet, with Scicluna said to be making way for Clyde Caruana, an economist who currently serves as the OPM’s head of secretariat.
Scicluna was meant to present this year’s budget to parliament later this evening. But instead, the minister released a video from what looked like the inside of a private jet.
“So you thought you could just replace me, eh Robert? Well, as you can see, I’ve taken the initiative and left before you can fire me. By the time you watch this video, I will have been long gone. Oh, and by the way, I’ve taken all of this year’s budget money with me,” Scicluna said while holding a glass of champagne.
“That’s right – I’ve transferred more than €100 million in public funds to a secret offshore account and am currently en route to a place you will never find me. I will now live out my remaining years sunning myself on a beach in South America, the Caribbean or maybe South East Asia. Who knows where? Anyway, see how you’re going to give people more vouchers now, you square-headed cretin.”
“Farewell forever, and good luck with Moneyval. Profs out.”
Upon entering Scicluna’s finance ministry office, police found an empty budget briefcase. They also observed that not a single piece of stationery had been left behind.
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