Karl Stennienibarra
Prominent gay conversion therapy advocate Matthew Grech has joined the cast of the Marvel film Guardians of the Galaxy 3.
Grech will play Froot, a creature from the same planet as fan favourite Groot.
*SPOILER ALERT*
A leaked copy of the film’s script obtained by Bis-Serjetà reveals that, like Groot, Froot was once a beautiful, sentient tree-like creature.
However, as a young sapling he was tortured by an evil cultist, who water-boarded him in a toxic river until he transformed into a grotesque human with an over-sized head.
Early in the film, Froot is rescued from the cultist by Star-Lord, Gamora and the other Guardians, and joins them on their interplanetary adventures.
But his past continues to torment him, and his refusal to embrace his former arboreal identity is characterised by his repeated line, “I am not Froot,” which he says 503 times throughout the film.
A spokesperson for Marvel Studios said Grech was added to the cast after studio representatives saw a preview of the film Once Gay, in which Grech battles the forces of gayness for control over people’s sexuality.
Chris Pratt, who plays Star-Lord in the franchise, says he is thoroughly enjoying his time on-set with Grech.
“In all my years working in Hollywood I’ve never met anyone so committed to pretending to be something they aren’t,” Pratt said.
“And it turns out we’re both super into Jesus. He kept telling me how hot and vulnerable he looks hanging from the cross.”
Grech himself was unavailable for comment, as he was too busy posting images of Pride parades on Facebook.
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