A barrage of Facebook posts by disgraced former Prime Minister Joseph Muscat has caused the fabric of space and time to be torn apart.
Disturbances in the space-time fabric started being observed on Tuesday afternoon, soon after Muscat’s Facebook page began publishing a series of seemingly pre-written posts defending the Electrogas project, while the ex-PM himself faced another round of grilling on the controversial deal by the Public Accounts Committee.
Eyewitnesses who spoke to Bis-Serjetà reported seeing a wormhole open up in the middle of Republic Street in Valletta, out of which stumbled a man bearing an uncanny resemblance to Grandmaster Jean de Vallette
“What? Where am I? This place looks familiar but also different,” the befuddled, armour-clad Frenchman could be heard saying, before waving his sword angrily at a group of Turkish tourists.
A few minutes later, as the person managing Muscat’s page wrote, “L-Awditur Ġenerali għamilha ċara li kien hemm nuqqasijiet amministrattivi fil-proċess iżda li dawn in-nuqqasijiet ma waslux biex ir-riżultat tal-għażla jxaqleb lejn konzorzju jew ieħor,” the SS Ohio and other ships that made up the Konvoj ta’ Santa Marija in World War 2 were spotted flying over the Grand Harbour.
And just as Muscat published a post saying, “Il-Gvern immexxi minni kien jaħdem bħala team. Aħna Gvern wieħed,” a herd of dwarf elephants gathered in Mdina and trumpeted the national anthem.
Professor Imona Jetski, from the American University of Malta, told Bis-Serjetà there could be no doubt the disturbances were linked to Muscat’s Facebook posts.
“You can’t pull so violently at the threads of objective reality without causing some serious damage. Malta was already a place where space and time behaved differently to the rest of the world, but now we’re entering completely uncharted territory. Einstein could never have predicted the existence of a liar as universe-breaking as Muscat,” she said, as a report came in that Ħaġar Qim temple had turned into a birthday cake.
