Santa Claus has encouraged protesters in Malta to ignore calls for calm over the Christmas period and carry on demonstrating against Prime Minister Joseph Muscat.
As protesters continue their actions as a result of Muscat’s decision not to step down until mid-January, several people who disagree with the protests have accused them of ruining Christmas.
Father Christmas, however, does not share this opinion.
“If holding Joseph Muscat and his government accountable for murder and corruption means that Christmas spirit in Malta is somehow dampened, then fuck Christmas and keep being disruptive. It’s not like it’ll be the last one,” Santa said.
“To be honest, I don’t even understand what ‘ruin Christmas’ means. What, just because there’s less fake cheer in the air and people aren’t saying ‘Ol di best’ as much? Because you went to Valletta last Sunday but all the shops had closed early so you couldn’t buy a shit gift for your shit relative? Because you’re afraid Graffitti will stage a sit-in under your Christmas tree or that Labour thugs will beat up your turkey? I don’t get it.
“So yeah, if anyone tells you that ‘qażżistu lil kulħadd issa’, tell them to stick their serenità up their brainwashed assholes.”
Santa added that he was surprised by how tame the protests in Malta have been so far.
“If it emerged that I ordered the murder of an elf at my workshop in the North Pole because she was exposing how me and Rudolph were keeping all the presents to ourselves and hiding them in an offshore toy box, the other elves would definitely torch my sleigh.
“Not that I’m telling you to start setting things on fire, just in case One News are thinking of reporting that Santa Claus is in favour of chaos and anarchy.
“I kind of am though, to be honest. Burn it, burn it all like a Christmas pudding. Ho ho fucking ho.
