Karl Stennienibarra
A pigeon from Valletta who eats anything he finds on the ground has mocked local councils’ plans to poison him and his friends.
“The other day I was hanging out near the Jews Sally Port and ate a dead rat covered in raw sewage, followed by a McDonald’s ice cream this kid had just dropped on the ground. Didn’t even get a tummy ache. So yeah, I think I can handle a bit of poison,” said the pigeon, who nests above the City Gate Arcade building.
“Now, shooting us with air guns, on the other hand – that’s a dick move.”
The pigeon also poured scorn on attempts to sugarcoat the planned extermination method.
“They’re saying they’re going to feed us ‘natural death-inducing food.’ Well why don’t they go to Dingli and jump off a natural death-inducing precipice?”
Before flying off to eat a recently discarded piece of chewing gum , the pigeon said that the best way to stop his kind from defecating everywhere was to provide a central point where they could release all their droppings.
“Build us a statue of Konrad Mizzi and we won’t shit anywhere else but on his head,” it said.
