The Maltese government has announced it will start paying a €150 allowance to people who adopt immigrants from the country’s open centres.
Home Affairs Minister today launched ‘The Adopt an Immigrant Allowance’ scheme in an effort to finally solve the immigration problem.
“We got our inspiration from the standard ‘If you love them so much why don’t you let them live with you?’ comments you see every time the subject of immigration is in the news,” Farrugia said.
“But unlike the racists who spout those kinds of comments, the government understands that it’s not about love. It’s about money.”
Anyone who wishes to take part in the scheme simply needs to go to one of the open centres and pick out an immigrant of their choice.
“We have all kinds of immigrants, each with their own temperament and personality traits. For example, Eritreans are very loyal, while Somalis are playful and affectionate,” the minister said.
There are some rules, however. Anyone with a history of saying ‘Go back to your country’ is excluded from the scheme, while immigrants over 16 must be neutered and microchipped.
“Furthermore, if your migrant is killed while working on a construction site, you must let the government know within 24 hours so we can sweep the incident under the carpet.”
Asked why the government didn’t use the money to upgrade migrant facilities instead, Farrugia said:
“But then how will Maltese people get money? The important thing is that Maltese people get money.”
Meanwhile, Peppi Azzopardi is reported to be in a fit of rage after letting migrants live with him for the past year and receiving no money for it.
“I just let them move to Italy for fuck’s sake.”
Note: The scheme applies to both African/Asian migrants, as well as Gozitans placed in open centres yesterday due to the cancellation of the Gozo ferry service.
