A Moviment Graffitti activist who was wearing a mask of Ian Borg at University of Malta Freshers’ Week has built a road straight through campus.
The activist, 21-year-old Anthropology student Shaun Caruana, was wearing the mask as part of a satirical costume of a high-rise building with Borg’s face peeping through it.
However, after wearing the mask for a few hours, Caruana appears to have taken on the qualities of the Infrastructure Minister.
“He started telling students who came to our stand how much he loved cars,” a colleague of Caruana in Graffitti told Bis-Serjetà.
“At first we laughed because we thought he was getting into character. But even when there was no one around he kept going on about how much better Uni would be with a great big road going through it.”
Caruana is then reported to have yelled: “I am the Widener of Thoroughfares, Maker of Flyovers, Baron of Bypasses. All shall tremble before my roads.”
Before the mask could be removed from his face, Caruana snapped his fingers and made heavy machinery appear out of thin air.
The bulldozers, asphalt pavers and steamrollers then proceeded to make quick work of the campus buildings, destroying everything in their path and laying down a smooth six-lane highway stretching from the Gateway Building all the way to IT Services, with several flyovers branching off in other directions.
Meanwhile, the library was transformed into a multi-level swimming pool.
“Thank God we managed to rip the mask off before he could start adding petrol stations,” Graffitti spokesman Andre Callus said.
“We tried to warn you, but you just didn’t listen! An Ian Borg mask is not a toy,” University rector Prof. Alfred Vella said.
Asked to comment on the incident, the real Ian Borg said:
“As I told you, I don’t mind at all that people wear masks of my face. In fact, I encourage everyone to do so, so my mission can be completed faster.”
