Health authorities have advised Maltese men to get vaccinated against wearing a gilet.
The gilet – or body warmer – is a sleeveless jacket resembling a waistcoat.
“This time of year, with its changeable weather, is peak gilet-wearing season. It’s a terrible affliction, affecting mostly men, that causes you to appear silly and impractically dressed. People will look at you and think, ‘Is he feeling cold or warm? If he’s feeling cold, then why has he neglected his arms? And if he’s warm, why does he need to wear any form of jacket at all? Why can’t he make up his mind?'” said Superintendant for Public Health Professor Charmaine Gauci.
“However, the worst symptom of wearing a gilet is that you’ll look like a Nationalist. And if left untreated, it can lead to wearing other forms of ridiculous attire, like flat caps and boat shoes.”
Prof. Gauci said that while in previous years there was no cure for the gilet virus, a vaccine that scientists had been working on for the past decade had finally received the green light from the World Health Organisation in October.
“We’ll soon be launching a public health campaign, entitled ‘Put the LE in gilet,’ to encourage men to get the three injections needed to remove any compulsion they have towards buying and wearing this utterly pointless item of clothing.”
Sadly, Prof Gauci said, a vaccine for listening to electro-swing was still a long way off.
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