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Hipster hated Malta before it was cool

A hipster is insisting he hated Malta before it became mainstream to do so.

“Really? Now you’re all realising that Malta is shit? I’ve been saying that for years,” said 29-year-old hipster Glenn Chircop from San Gwann.

Chircop said he had discovered Malta was a dirty, noisy, chaotic, overcrowded, corrupt dump back in 2009.

“I was on the roof of my house one September evening, gazing at the drab, beige skyline,” Chircop said.

“None of the buildings matched. Most were blackened by exhaust fumes, wires dangling from them haphazardly. A neighbour was screaming profanities at her kid. Horns were honking and tyres were screeching. I thought to myself, “Wow, what a shit hole.””

When Chircop told his friends they said they’d never thought about Malta that way, and that he should focus more on the sea and the sun and the generosity, which were more popular at the time.

“As always happens, now that the foreigners are saying Malta is shit, all Maltese people are like, “Yeah, Malta is shit!”. Where were you 10 years ago? Oh yeah, enjoying your brainless commercial opinions.”

When asked if he had been to Imdina recently, Chircop rolled his eyes and his cigarette.

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