Karl Stennienibarra
Archbishop Charles Scicluna has expressed his sadness at the fact that sexually frustrated priests have no other option but to abuse young boys.
Scicluna was speaking at an extraordinary Vatican summit on the protection of minors in the Church.
“Don’t get me wrong, the widespread sexual abuse of young children in our care is completely abhorrent,” the Archbishop told the gathering of clergymen from all over the world.
“But sometimes I think, man, it’s such a shame that there’s no other way for these priests to express their natural sexual urges without having to resort to something so evil. Aside from constant masturbation, of course, which as we all know gets pretty dull after the first year of priesthood.”
When members of the audience expressed their confusion, Scicluna said he was referring to some hypothetical form of intimate physical relationship you could have with another consenting adult, male or female.
“But nope, God in his infinite wisdom ordered us to take a vow of lifelong celibacy while also being in constant contact with these small, vulnerable, innocent creatures.
“Listen to me, trying to engage in blue-sky thinking with the King of Heaven,” he chuckled.
The summit at the Vatican runs until February 24th, with Archbishop Scicluna scheduled to give other talks entitled ‘What To Do When A Child Flirts With You’ and ‘Noooo! Bad Priest! Naughty!’.
Archbishop Scicluna will be performing a magic show at Bis-Serjetà’s Beer and Survival Fundraiser next month. Find out more.