Gozitan oligarch Joseph Portelli has been chosen by the people of Malta to lead the country for the next five years.
Portelli won a commanding majority of votes from Labour supporters, as well as those of PN supporters, as in Malta’s electoral system, votes for construction magnates are counted from both main parties.
Addressing the nation from atop the Mercury Tower construction site in Paceville following his victory, the newly elected Mr Portelli promised continuity.
“You have made this simple Gozitan peasant who doesn’t care about money very proud. I pledge to keep on giving you more of what you want, which is apparently massive apartment blocks in ODZ land,” he said to cheers and airhorn blasts from the gathered crowd.
“You have my word that Gozo will be covered entirely in concrete within a year.”
While Mr Portelli’s cabinet has yet to be announced, the oligarch said he was confident that whoever was chosen would work tirelessly for him.
“I also look forward to further strengthening my relationship with the Planning Authority. That relationship being me as a master and the PA as gimp, of course.”
Meanwhile, the runner-up in the election was COVID-19, which regained the momentum it had lost in recent months thanks to several mass rallies organised by the two main parties. Contractors Bonnici Brothers placed third.
“I would like to extend my sincere congratulations to my fellow virus Joseph Portelli. I believe he will be more devastating to Malta than I could ever hope to be,” COVID said.
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