Karl Stennienibarra has admitted to feeling “hurt and betrayed” after his request to join the popular Facebook group ‘The Salott’ was denied.
The Bis-Serjetà founder, editor and god-emperor put in a request to join the group two months ago. However, he is still waiting for approval, and says he fears the worst.
“When people tell me about all the fun they have in the group, I feel like a street urchin in a Charles Dickens novel, peering through the window of a home where a happy family is gathered in front of a roaring fire, while I’m outside in the snow,” Stennienibarra said.
“I just want to do what everyone else in the group allegedly does. I want to ask idiotic questions that a quick Google search would answer. I want to post my ignorant opinions about current affairs. I want to give people bad advice. I want to take part in a public lynching before I have all the facts. I wanted to vote for Krips.
“I want to feel alive,” he yelled.
Mr Stennienibarra said he was unsure why his request had been denied, but suspected it had something to do with his past history with the group’s founder, Moira Palmier.
“Listen Moira, honey bunny, I know it didn’t end well between us back in ’89. But remember the good times – sunset walks on the Chalet, snogging in the back of the Alhambra, that time we nearly got caught skinny dipping at Tigné Point…
“Please honey bunny, let me in.”
