Karl Stennienibarra
Tourism Minister Konrad Mizzi has denied reports that he exists.
Mr Mizzi was responding to rumours that he was considering a leadership bid if Joseph Muscat steps down as Prime Minister.
“How could I possibly be Prime Minister if I’m only a figment of your over-active imagination?” Mizzi asked journalists at a press conference this morning.
“Think about it, in what world would I still be a minister after everything that’s come out, let alone stand any chance of becoming leader of the country? That’s just insane, even by Maltese standards.
“I mean come on, have you seen what I look like? Have you heard how I speak? My personal opinion – not that it counts for much since I only exist inside your minds – is that I am the physical manifestation of all of Malta’s hang-ups about language, social class and money. But you’d all have to talk to a psychologist about that.
“If I were real, could I get away with this?” he asked before stripping naked and slapping Times journalist Ivan Camilleri in the face with his penis.
Mizzi then left the press conference while making ghost noises.
One hour later, Mr Mizzi released a statement in which he admitted he did in fact exist, but only for family planning purposes.
