A Maltese baby is crying like it has actually experienced living in Malta.
Six-month-old Oliver Caruana is known to cry loudly several times a day, a fact that baffles those who can hear him.
“Honestly, what does he have to cry so much about? The only thing he’s consciously experienced about being a human being in Malta is the admittedly awful scorching heat. But you don’t see the rest of us bawling about it. We just tell our neighbours ‘It’s so hot’ and get on with it,” said Thomas Gauci, who lives in the flat below baby Oliver and his parents.
“He’s never got stuck in traffic, or looked at property prices, or endured the incompetence and corruption of Maltese politicians. And I’m sure he hasn’t yet noticed how few trees there are, how overpopulated and overbuilt it is, or how low salaries are. If he’s already wishing he were back in the womb then he has a lot of crying ahead of him.”
Oliver’s parents, Sandra and Robert, were apologetic about their son’s behaviour.
“We’re really sorry Oliver is keeping everyone in the block up at night. We don’t understand where all the crying comes from. We give him all the love and care in the world but he still acts like a little bitch. We can’t bear to imagine what he’ll be like when he hears Robert Abela speak for the first time.”
