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Maltese children to be taught in restaurants to avoid catching Covid-19

Karl Stennienibarra

Maltese schoolchildren will be taught in restaurants instead of classrooms to prevent them and their teachers from catching and spreading Covid-19, the government announced today.

The decision comes following a day of confusion for state-school pupils, teachers and parents alike, after the government insisted schools would remain open despite a two-day strike called by the Malta Union of Teachers.

“We understand this is a difficult time for all concerned. Even though the current situation has nothing to do with any decisions the government has taken in recent months, we are prepared to step in and offer this solution,” Education Minister Justyne Caruana said during a press conference this morning.

“From Monday, all state-school students will begin receiving lessons in restaurants instead of classrooms. As everyone knows, you cannot catch Covid-19 inside catering establishments, so everyone should feel safe.”

The minister dismissed the possibility of online learning.

“It’s just not feasible because we don’t have the necessary resources or systems in place. Again, nothing to do with the government. We could never have foreseen that we might have to close schools again at some point.

“And if teachers don’t like this arrangement and persist with their industrial action, we’ll simply replace them with foreign waiters, who will provide lessons in between serving customers.”

Caruana added that, to help them deal with the stress caused by the pandemic, children would be served alcohol during their lessons.

“Obviously every table of pupils will be provided with a plate of chips to maintain that Covid immunity.”

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